Grief

People try so hard to be helpful with those dealing with the loss of a loved one. They hate to someone they care about in pain.

My advice to anyone in this situation - "should" is a bad word. You mean well, I know, but telling someone they should take dance lessons or should get out more or should lay down and cry is only adding to any guilty feelings they already have.

Instead, if you know of someone who found dance lessons helpful, "I know my friend Sally found dance lessons got her out of the house and gave her a chance to talk with people who didn't know Stanley. I don't know if that's the sort of thing you like, but I know it made Sally happy." Now your friend Sue doesn't feel she's letting you down if she doesn't want to tango.


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