Lots of information, not enough neurons

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Midterm is next Monday, Finals start the week before Christmas. The first final will be fine but the next 3 I haven't begun to prepare for.

I'm still going to do observerships because that's where I feel I learn more about medicine than I ever do in lecture.

My last was with a hospitalist who let me do rounds with his residents. I was taught to do some tests and was included in conversations about the patients' care. I can't believe it's taken me so long to do these!

My next is a psych observership which I'm really looking forward to. I'm not sure if I want to be a psychiatrist - in fact I'm not at all sure I know what I want to be, but it will be great to learn what they do. I think that no matter what practice I end up taking up, there will be a psych component to it. Same as regardless of which practice we choose, we're all going to be geriatritians. As I go through my class material, I try to think about how what I'm learning is different if the patient is old. Should be good practice right?

One of my finals is MSK (musculoskeletal) so I've arranged for my observership before finals to be in the osteoporosis clinic. It'll be like review for the final right??

The more I think about finals, the more I freak out. It's a lot of information for me to have in my head and be able to apply clinically. Clinical application is fun but requires that I really own the material.

Which means I better get back to work and stop watching Bones.

Prejudice is a four letter word. No really, count again.

Prejudice is live and well in the medical community
:: waits for the shocked gasp ::

One of my tutors firmly believes that everyone has equal access to health care and that Americans are well off with respect to wait times and ability to get care. I get so angry. Then I blather on and on about other things because I know if I don't change the subject I'm going to punch her in the mouth. She goes on and on about the 350lb man with a donut in hand who comes in complaining of >insert whatever illness we're discussing that week<

She also assumes that people who work blue collar jobs are a) idiots that aren't capable of understanding a treatment plan and b) don't care about their health.

If Canadians, rich and poor, have equal access to health providing opportunities, then why are babies born to teen aged moms significantly smaller? If it's not the reduced counselling about prenatal nutrition received compared to women in their 20s and 30s, and the lack of medical support for this demographic, then I just don't know what it would be.

I recently came across this blog called "First, Do No Harm"
It's terrific, horrifying and well written. Fat people who have been treated like garbage talk about their experience accessing health care in the US. I know it's the same here just listening to my tutor.

Checking in

After being so worried about my first block exam (and the gong-show of disasters that surrounded it) I ended up doing OK. I had set the bar low, aiming for a 75% but got a 77%. I can live with that! I had 3 weeks of classes for which I barely picked up a book.

When I'm at home, I feel like I should be available to my partner (who is admittedly, quite needy) rather than studying for school. I've been talking to other people in the class who have partners/spouses at home. The common theme seems to be that they really really don't understand how much work there is to do in med school. It's as though they sincerely believe that we're just having fun all the time. When I'm discussing my day, I try to focus on the positive aspects rather than the negative - why would I ruin his day with my crap? That may seem to put a weird spin on things.

Part of the problem is how much I need to censor myself at home.

Talking about neat specialities I can pursue in the future leads him to be 1) depressed that he hasn't got a dream of his own to pursue or 2) point out that I can't do everything. Surprisingly, I do know that I can't do everything but having the idea that I could pursue a speciality keeps me focused and working on whatever subject I'm currently knee deep in.

Nothing gross. Unfortunately the definition of this changes daily. Last night it was extended to include a cleanly broken bone. Seriously. I get no puss or tumour talk, but a broken bone???

Discussing the MD/PhDs in the class is strictly forbidden as they act as a reminder of his unpursued potential. If he really wanted to use his PhD in Biostatistics, I'm sure he could!!

All this censoring makes regular conversation difficult, especially when it comes to the tough topics like money. Argh with the money!! /end rant

I have finally been brave enough to ask for observerships. I don't know how my classmates have been so quick to find them! I felt like I was asking for a favour and that's hard for me to do. It's really exciting to get an opportunity to see what the "real world" of medicine will be like! My first is set up in geriatrics, the next in child psychiatry. I'm 95% sure I'll be a family doc, but I want to check out the specialities too so that I can be confident in that choice and so that I can be the best family doc ever.