That moment when

I finally find out I'm not the only new doc who feels in over their head and like I've made the biggest mistake ever. 

And as a result finds wine extra tasty. 

OMG

There's money in my bank account. It's been there for more than a month. It's ridiculously confusing. And delightful. 

That moment when

The drunk guy's face looks better after you've finished suturing it up than it did before he, um, walked into the middle of a fight. 

That moment when

I choose a bowl of cereal over a Blue Menu microwave meal because the microwave dinner takes too much effort. 

The root of my discomfort

I've been pretty uncomfortable with my practice for a few months. I keep being told it's normal and it will get better in a few years, but I'm seriously having a hard time getting to work some days. 

After talking it out with my VERY patient partner, I think that my unease comes from more patients than time. He asked what would make life better for me right now. Some things are fairly easy like a housekeeper to deal with my dirty socks and ring around the tub. 

But the big answer was a month off with a locum covering my practice so I could make care plans for my patients. Some of them have diseases I've never heard of. How can I possibly feel comfortable treating them??

I guess that's where the extra years in practice comes in?