Checking in

After being so worried about my first block exam (and the gong-show of disasters that surrounded it) I ended up doing OK. I had set the bar low, aiming for a 75% but got a 77%. I can live with that! I had 3 weeks of classes for which I barely picked up a book.

When I'm at home, I feel like I should be available to my partner (who is admittedly, quite needy) rather than studying for school. I've been talking to other people in the class who have partners/spouses at home. The common theme seems to be that they really really don't understand how much work there is to do in med school. It's as though they sincerely believe that we're just having fun all the time. When I'm discussing my day, I try to focus on the positive aspects rather than the negative - why would I ruin his day with my crap? That may seem to put a weird spin on things.

Part of the problem is how much I need to censor myself at home.

Talking about neat specialities I can pursue in the future leads him to be 1) depressed that he hasn't got a dream of his own to pursue or 2) point out that I can't do everything. Surprisingly, I do know that I can't do everything but having the idea that I could pursue a speciality keeps me focused and working on whatever subject I'm currently knee deep in.

Nothing gross. Unfortunately the definition of this changes daily. Last night it was extended to include a cleanly broken bone. Seriously. I get no puss or tumour talk, but a broken bone???

Discussing the MD/PhDs in the class is strictly forbidden as they act as a reminder of his unpursued potential. If he really wanted to use his PhD in Biostatistics, I'm sure he could!!

All this censoring makes regular conversation difficult, especially when it comes to the tough topics like money. Argh with the money!! /end rant

I have finally been brave enough to ask for observerships. I don't know how my classmates have been so quick to find them! I felt like I was asking for a favour and that's hard for me to do. It's really exciting to get an opportunity to see what the "real world" of medicine will be like! My first is set up in geriatrics, the next in child psychiatry. I'm 95% sure I'll be a family doc, but I want to check out the specialities too so that I can be confident in that choice and so that I can be the best family doc ever.