Considering dipping my feet in chocolate

Or maybe enrolling in a social niceties class.

I spent yesterday with my foot in my mouth or realising that I am not ever going to be a standoffish doctor.

In the morning, in front of a consultant I went on and on about hating this rotation. In my defence I didn't see him right away because he was behind a nurse in the elevator. Still mortifying. I know him outside of the hospital as well which for some reason makes it even worse.

There was an emergency that didn't follow protocol in a rapid manner. The nurses had been harping on it being someone else's fault. Likely the family medicine resident but they wouldn't listen to me who saw the miscommunication take place. I told our chief resident that a miscommunication that took place was as much the nurse's fault as the resident as the nurse came around the corner.

d'oh

Later in the day, I accidently told a patient's family she'd had a boy when it was supposed to be a surprise. The same patient had an incredibly stressful day. During one of the most stressful moments, I was at her head, stroking her hair and trying to keep her calm. Without thinking, I bent over and kissed her on the forehead. She seemed to need a familiar action. Regretted it immediately. The patient however told me later that she was very happy for it. It made her feel happy and good in the moment.

phew

I am an emotional person. I have always been an emotional person. I speak my mind, I tell people I love them, I get excited when they're excited, I cry when they cry. It makes me get too involved, I worry when others don't.

I think it also makes a difference when people are having a really bad day. That makes the rest of it worth while.