I love coffee

and so I love my Tassimo, it's amazing

we have 5 kinds of coffee including lattes, hot chocolate and tea

all so quick and easy to make so I'm less likely to make unnecessary trips to Starbucks when I should be studying

when med students get crafty

expect weirdness like teratoma monsters

RAWR!

tonight's review brought to you by chocolate ducks

Many docs have figured out that to get students to participate in lecture, bribing with candy is useful.

Extra added bonus, sugar again to keep me awake during the urology review.

this mccqe study session is brought to you by Big Feet

After being in class for 8 hours the gummy goodness of my Big Feet candy will keep me awake. between the sugar and the red food dye I can keep at it another 3 hours.

More you won't hear in Law School

We had a lecture in facial anatomy and in particular the plastic surgery component of it. The doc presented a case of a patient who was not able to smile on one side due to muscle atrophy/nerve damage.

future surgical resident "Come on. You've got to be thinking of switching out of family to surgery! He just made that guy able to smile!"

astute future emerg resident "sometimes the reasons for a problem with smiles are much deeper than plastics can fit"

me "and that's why I have Prozac!"

(to be clear, this is to hand out to my patients, in my family practice office)

random memories from undergrad

During that intense physiology class I mentioned a few days ago some fun stuff happened.

Whenever a glass bottle fell over and rolled around during lecture our prof would smirk. Eventually she told us it was because she always thought it was a beer bottle. It was an 8am class.

Many of her test questions centered on beer and Smarties.

During one class I sat at the back because I was late. So late I hadn't had breakfast. We were discussing GI phys. My stomach growled. Guy next to me's stomach growled. Our stomachs essentially talk back and forth to each other all class.

Studying while doing the dishes

Wrapping up 4 years of medicine is busy. Every time I turn around, there's something else that needs to be done, someone that requires a document that I had in first year, somewhere I need to be.

I've been listening to pod casts of med review while doing household tasks and driving. So much easier than that pesky reading.

Pedcases and Surgery 101 are through U of A in Edmonton. MedPod is fun as well, if rather racist at times. They were helpful in clerkship and I'm enjoying them now. I remember bits of the dialogue when I'm trying to remember facts.

All the podcasts have material on their sites that can be useful for studying. Pedcases in particular has quite a few cases to learn from.

Worth checking out. And makes it possible to study while doing housework. Because that's fun.

My Thought Process When I Decided to Apply to Medical School in the First Place

Perspective, like I often say, is a brilliant thing.

I want to remind myself of the gift I've been given by being accepted to medical school in the first place. It's such a gamble to get in; having the right MCAT score for that year, picking people who are able to write a competent letter of reference, the most compassionate interview committee. I'm such a lucky person to have been accepted anywhere given my, err, colourful background.

That I've got to this point in my medical career and haven't been kicked out means to me that I made the right choice. People say that it's hard to be kicked out, but it's not that hard. I've seen it happen several times.

I've whined about not getting my number one choice in residency. Poor poor me. I made it to residency. This is a huge gift.

So, now I want to look at the criteria I set for myself when I applied for med school in 2006. That seems so long ago now. Apparently they were good criteria since I got in with one just the one application.

1. I took a good look at why my marks were so terrible (really terrible, worse than your worst) - it was something I could easily fix and did. Essentially, I needed to stop drinking/partying and learn how to study. I made a plan. I also set up my office so that everywhere I looked I saw things that encouraged me to keep studying.

2. I took a leave for a semester to test myself and see how I could do. Given my past credits, I was able to take a 4th year physio course that is known to be a killer. I told myself if I could get an A, I would let myself continue back to school full time. I got a 92.

3. I talked with EVERYONE I could about their jobs - techs, nurses, docs, surgeons, everyone. If I was going to start over, I wanted it to be worth something at the end and wanted to make sure it was what I thought I was going for. Happily, it was.

4. Rather than just getting enough credits and doing the bare minimum, I did a full second degree in something that I loved and that would lead me to a great plan B career. For me, my plan B was a masters in Health Economics. It was a way I could help Canadians' health if I wasn't a physician.

5. I spent the money on the Princeton Review classes. Not cheap to be sure, but so worth it in the end. Part of my poor marks initially was that I didn't know how to take MC exams and the PR helped me with that. I'm sure any other class would as well, but PR fit my schedule.

6. I looked for EVERY resource available at the school for helping me succeed - how to read papers, math lab help, essay editing, study hints, how to learn - it made me a better learner and set me up for success in med school. While you're never too old to go back to school, it doesn't get any easier.

7. My partner and I realistically discussed each of my intermediate goals and what each meant (graduate from undergrad with poor marks, get into a masters program but not MD, would I try to apply a second time etc.) Having a good idea of what to expect from each other along the way was useful and kept me focused and on my game. For me, I would have applied twice but then called it quits.

8. I really want to practice rural medicine. I kept a painting of a rural scene by my desk in undergrad and during med school to keep me focused on what I'm doing.

9. I kept my social connections tight. Just because you have this brilliant plan for the future doesn't mean you shouldn't be living right now. Balance is key. If you can't balance your life in a way that makes you happy, you're doing something wrong. This has been the plan that worked best for me in my medical studies. So many people, especially med students think that they will be able to start living once med school is over...once residency is over....once they are done with locums...once they have kids and their own practice....whatever. Now is when we live, not later.

10. It feels like there should be a 10 but I can't think of one.

Post Match

This week has been incredibly emotional so far.

The day of the match included celebrations, crying, disappointment, drinking, dancing, hugging, crying and screaming.

Did I mention the crying?

It's hard when you are a type A personality who is used to having everything that you've worked for given to you to suddenly be given your second, third or 39th choice. Or even worse, to not get any of your choices.

Your world suddenly falls apart. Things you thought were true are no longer true. The beautiful bubble of perfection you have been living in pops and everything comes crashing down.

For some of us, the crash was largely in our heads. There was little really wrong with what we have matched to, it just wasn't our first choice.

For others, it meant taking a position provinces away from their partners or not matching at all.

It's been difficult for some members of the class who matched to their number one spot. They want to jump up and down and scream and laugh and be happy all the time. But they feel constrained by their love of our class and not wanting to hurt anyone who is less happy.

It seems unfair that their joy needs to be constrained.

match celebrations

Match Day is a crazy day. Crazy.

I finally fell asleep at 4:30 and was late meeting my friend. We decided to check our match at Starbucks. It seemed like a nice neutral place - no other med students, no partners - just tasty beverages and sweet treats prn.

She logged in first and squealed almost immediately. She matched to her number one ranked program in a very competitive specialty. So fantastic.

Of course I couldn't log in. The stress was ridiculous at this point.

When I finally was able to log in (¹minute not the 20 it felt like), I found out I matched to my third choice. I was devastated. It was hard - I was happy for my friend, sad for me. So was she.

The lack of sleep and shock of not getting my number one or two threw me and I was upset for hours.

Then I got over it. And now I'm excited for my next steps.

'Twas the night before CaRMS Match

And final year medical students all across Canada are stressed, drunk, taking sleeping pills or oblivious.

Though I know that any of the programs I ranked will be fine, I really want my number one spot most. Anything in my top five will be OK. After that though, it's not as pleasant.

I know I can make a home anywhere and I can direct my own learning wherever I am to fulfill my own goals. But, I would really like to be near friends again, and in a comfortable community. I want to feel like I'm putting down roots not getting ready to move on again. I've always been one to live in the now, not assume that "my life will start after medical school" or at some other distant point in time. Life is what I'm living now. It's just time for me to also look to be planning a future. These are big, grown up, "I'm almost 40" thoughts.

And since everyone knows what my top pick is, will I be dealing with overly sympathetic eyes tomorrow if I don't match there? What if I do end up in my 24th spot? How will I tell everyone?

And they are keeping me awake tonight.

something else you won't hear at law school

"Oh ya, I'm excited about match day. I'm so excited I can't sleep. I keep having night mares of matching to programs that don't exist. Last night it was a neurology program but only for Spanish patients. I don't speak Spanish. They told me I'd have to learn it by July 1st. They didn't care I applied to Gen Surg. They just kept quoting the CaRMS binding contract."

sleepy cat says no school please

I woke up to my monster cat sleeping on top of me. All attempts to get up for class have been thwarted by purrs and sheer gravity.

another reason rural hospitals are for me

no parking garages full of stressed out patients driving like idiots

they really try my patience every morning