Random facts about The Impostor - Med School edition

1. I often bath rather than shower before an exam. This is so I can study in the tub.

2. Even though almost everyone in my class thinks I'm intelligent, I'm barely making it through my exams.

3. Anatomy lab makes me HUNGRY. Which really grosses me out.

4. I'm addicted to having textbooks but rarely use them (though the Case Files series may convert me).

5. When my class chatters while we should be listening to a lecture, I'm ashamed of them.

6. I have consistently done poorer than the class average on all my exams and assignments but one.

7. I crave the approval of those around me. I worry what will happy when I move into my own practice and need to encourage myself - this is when the impostor part of me takes over.

8. I'm terrible at completing projects - I can have several going at once and never truly finish one of them.

9. Even though I know my school has a pass/fail system and that my potential residency programs won't see those marks, I worry that they will somehow find out that my marks aren't brilliant.

10. Drinking herbal tea with fun sounding names makes it easier to study for exams.

11. I watch TV while I'm studying. That likely explains my poor marks.

12. Every now and then I get these moments when I realise that I'm going to be a doctor - soonish. At first I go into this sense of awe and happiness, that is later replaced by abject terror. While I feel I can talk the talk, I'm not sure I'll be able to walk the walk. Maybe dermatology is the thing for me? I like raspberries in my water.

13. I want to specialize in everything.

14. Our class is incredibly charitable. We spend a great deal of time raising money for people overseas, kids who are chronically ill and friends who are fighting great battles. It makes me very proud of them.

15. My favourite block so far has been MSK. I like diseases and body systems that I can see.

16. I was drinking 8 cups of coffee a day. I'm down to 2 now because the hypertension and tachycardia caught up with me.

Driven to Drink

My partner and I have been incredibly social over the past few days. It's unusual for us. Both of us find being in socially heavy situations to be difficult. I know there's irony there, the woman who is going to be a doctor is uncomfortable talking to people. I think that situation will be different though since my patients will be coming to me with an agenda, and unlike our sneaky standardized patients, they will let me know what it is they want from me.

I've been asked at each of these events what I want to specialize in. I DON'T KNOW!! Family medicine looks good because there are so many options available for me. If I learned nothing else this summer it's that family docs can have a wide breadth of practice. It would help my attention deficit ways.

I've also been asked about my children. Someone has been telling people in the first year class that I have kids. This amuses me but also upsets me. I hate gossip...when it's about me. It really is amazing how quickly gossip spreads around and between the classes.

In other news, I passed Endo!! Yay! I've really got to start studying for the final so I can maintain my pass. Even though we have a saying in this pass-fail program (six-oh and go) I'd still like to learn the material well before heading into clerkship and having to attempt to diagnose a real live prolactinoma. Or at least put it on the differential.

I'm still enjoying digestion, but think that I've fallen further behind in it than I would have liked. What's new. More studying is definitely on the agenda for this week.