My partner isn't immune

My partner is incredibly supportive. Like ridiculously supportive. To the point that he is also having exam nightmares.

What a good fellow.


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Exam nightmares

Last night, I was senior resident on call in a teaching hospital. I'd never done this before so it was acknowledged that it was a favour.

My consultant was my grade one teacher. I was still anxious about talking on the phone with her. Not knowing I was on call, I was drunk, and had to speak with her. Mrs. Grade One didn't seem to notice but it was mortifying.

There was also a lot of explaining my age and still being a resident. Also explaining that I'm used to emergencies coming in drips and drabs at my wee hospital.

No actual medicine, just feeling fully out of place and not at all ready.

That's what nightmares ate for though right? To show you what your insecurities are so you can analyse them in the cold light of day and kick them to the curb?

Rawr. I've got this.

Our Worst Enemies

My Facebook Newsfeed has been covered with the Dove Beauty Debate.

It's a fairly powerful video for those who have every felt ugly. Most of us recognize this is untrue, but it's a message that is deeply ingrained. It is unacceptable in many cultures to be confident in one's looks. Our superficial self is less important than how we act "beauty is only skin deep".

Women learn to go to the washroom in groups and complain about our appearances. I remember being so proud of myself for dancing with a boy for the first time in 7th grade but feeling an overwhelming need to put myself down while in the washroom with the grade 8s. It's not like I was tied up and told that I was unattractive. Since I was able to pay attention I was susceptible to all the messages about what beauty is. I was not beautiful.

Speaking of these messages, what about those Ax ads? You know, the ones where women go running after boys who spray themselves with Ax body spray? Yuck. Unfortunately, Ax is owned by Unilever, the same company that owns Dove. Does it matter? I don't think so. The message of the Dove ad is just as valid.

A counter ad has also been making the rounds. Personally, I don't think they get it. It's about how guys are self confident and women try to make them feel bad about themselves. Thanks for supporting the previous ad.

Why does this matter? So what if women secretly think they are pretty but are afraid to admit it in public? There are thousands of articles on pubmed looking at the correlation between low self esteem and health, they speak for themselves. Women in my office have a hard time telling me what it is that is actually bothering them because they don't consider themselves important enough to take up my time. I'm astounded by the number of women I've seen in my very short career who have ignored the signs of cancer until it is too late to do anything.

We are taught in med school to address the patient as a whole. Is there a link between feeling beautiful and caring for one's health? There may be. Honestly though, I didn't find as much evidence as I expected. There are many studies on eating disorders and body image, as well as self esteem and cancer and sexual dysfunction.

Helping parents to raise men and women who are strong, who love themselves, and who will treat their bodies well is important to me as a family doc. I'm happy to see my colleagues, family, and friends debating the topic.

Not even the end of second year

And already my colleagues from medical school who have chosen other specialties are dissing family medicine docs.

We are not just a dumbed down version of your specialty, or even all the specialties.

We are a specialty of our own. We deserve your respect. I guarantee, no matter what you think, you could NOT do my job for a day. I couldn't do yours. And that's ok. It's why we chose different specialties to match to.

I know we need to be cocky to do our jobs well, but it should never, ever, be at the expense of another specialty.


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You might be a rural resident if...

You've used the phrase "the antibiotics I usually use for manure spreader injuries are..."

You need to avoid the horse plop when running between the clinic and hospital.

Your nurses are just nurses, not OR nurses and ER nurses and post surgical nurses. They do it all. And rock.

You ask all patients how they heat their homes and what kind of flooring they have. I have several patients who use wood exclusively to heat their homes and others with dirt flooring.

You've diagnosed ORF.

When screening for suicidality, checking for firearms in the home is a real concern. As is rope in the barn to hang from.

Your grocery buying habits have greatly improved because the store is full of your patients who are watching your cart.

Almost none of your patients are full code "I wouldn't treat my horse like that, why would I treat myself that way?".