Doctor speak

"there's a lot of complexity there" - patient has a personality disorder +\- an addiction.

"this is an interesting presentation" - bask in my glory for I have diagnosed something Dr. House would have missed.



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Kids who are injured should be allowed to heal

Parents who are pushing them to get back to football, baseball, soccer, etc. need to hush.


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July 1

Good luck to all the new residents just getting started!

Best. Job. Ever.


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Patients are safe with residents

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2012-06/bc-pcb062612.php

I'd still be careful on July 1.


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Patients say the funniest things

Oh no, I'm very happy to get my STI testing done so I don't feel like such a dirt bag.

Me: See you later alligator!
7 year old boy: (moves his arms like a big crocodile mouth snapping shut) RAWR!!!!

Things aren't right down there. I think I need the finger. You know - to make sure I don't have prostate cancer.

With the Nuva ring an everything else, I'm starting to feel like my vagina is a storage locker.





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Words to live by

After I feigned exasperation that my patient, like most others who are much older than me, wasn't able to provide a sample because (understandably) they'd gone before leaving home, he replied:
When you get past 60 years old, never pass a urinal; never ignore an erection.

Hear hear.




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"I said I loved you when we got married..."

"I'll let you know if it changes."
~ male patient describing his marriage

So many of my older female patients complain about not being sure if their husbands still love them. These couples have fallen into routines that make intimacy a tiny part of their lives. I ask what things he does for her doing the day - it'll be things like bringing coffee to her or killing spiders. I remind my patient that her husband is doing these things because he loves her.

It would be so much easier though if he just said it.

My advice to all these couples getting married this summer - please ACTUALLY tell each other you love each other regularly. Just do it. Please.




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