Am I really this cold hearted?

We get prepped in med school for dealing with the patient who for religious reasons refuses blood products. It's a scenario we discuss with each other and practice dealing with the anger we may potentially feel. Anger to what though? To a religion? To parents? To spouses? To Jehovah? Or even, heaven forbid, to our patient?
I'm not sure how this happened, but as a rule, as long as it is what my patient truly wants, I'm ok with it. You want to avoid pain meds because you want the chance to say good bye to your kids? No problem. You don't think going for a chest X-ray is worth your time? Your choice.
You don't want any blood products whatsoever, even if it means you may die within the week? Got it. Let me help you with some meds that will reduce your inevitable air hunger.
Speaking with some nurses today, I had the impression I'm not as affected as I should be by patients' choices. It seemed to me though, that they may be projecting their own belief systems and choices they would make for their own lives onto their patients'.
These nurses clearly care and give their patients compassionate, intuitive care. Because they care so much though, they are frustrated when the care plan they would have for a family member is not the one chosen by a patient.
I still cry with patients over beautiful moments and sad news. I touch them and try to make them laugh when appropriate. I respect their choices.




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