This story of a man delivering his own baby gathered many comments about how broken our health care system is. I'm not sure it is though.
In this case, it seems like the delivery went significantly faster than expected. People are also making a big deal about the fact that the doctor wasn't in the room. My experience last summer was that the doctor doesn't necessarily need to be there for the actual delivery. The first hour post birth is the most important one for him/her to be there.
I'm just surprised at how much anger there is about our health care system. I'm also very disillusioned. And studying seems even more important if I need to prove to my patients that I'm not the fool they seem to think doctors are.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
It's exam week
I'm disappointed with how little actual school work/learning I've had time to do this year. It's clear that when I have the time to study and stay on top of the work load (eat all those pancakes) I can do very well.
We had a one week course in Emerg/ICU care this semester. I stayed on top of the material and feel like I killed the exam. Yes it's just one week, but that just meant I was able to stay on top of the work. What makes this win extra scary though is that the rest of the class seems to feel that they did not do well on the exam.
The other three courses this semester though, will not go as well. I'm desperately choosing which weeks I will study. Weeks! Not just lectures or parts of lectures I feel are less important, entire weeks!
We had our OSCE last week and despite studying for the past 2 years and feeling pretty prepared for it, I was knocked off my game a couple of times. It was fun but also, as I said to the examiner for the ankle exam, fully humiliating.
Our school has a pass/fail system so that as long as I make my 60%, I'll make it through to clerkship. For the OSCE, we just need 60% of 60% of the stations. But, I don't want to be the doctor that barely made it through med school. I don't want some doc in administrivia hell looking for the last 1/2 % so that no one has to hold my hand through remediation in the summer. I want to do well in clerkship and need to start making studying a priority in my life. Starting.....NOW.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Footprints in our hearts
Our school community said good bye to a friend today. He was someone that everyone is happy for having known. He and his partner taught me wonderful lessons about love, about giving with everything you can, about being a friend and about living life on purpose.
During the memorial speeches made by his family, friends and co-workers, I was overwhelmed with a desire to make sure that when I pass, these beautiful things could be said about me. I know it's a bit selfish, but I hope that he would forgive me for wanting to learn from his successes and challenges.
I've learned that I need to treat everyone well. To reach out when someone asks for help and to feel comfortable reaching out myself. I need to pay attention to life. It's happening now, I should be taking advantage of it rather than whiling my hours away watching streaming TV (the studying I find acceptable though). I learned to love completely, fully and not worry about other people's prejudices.
I need to travel. I need to respect my family and encourage their respect of me. Chocolate is a perfectly acceptable way to buy friends, and it's OK to insist that people smile when they take any that I offer. One can live elegantly and fully on a modest salary. Making one's home means making it feel like home for everyone you love.
Admit when I make a mistake. Eat well but never too much. Drink well but never too much. Our time is not our own. Our friends' time is not their own either. Except lunch time.
Lunch time should never be messed with. It is a precious, recharging and essential part of everyone's day.
During the memorial speeches made by his family, friends and co-workers, I was overwhelmed with a desire to make sure that when I pass, these beautiful things could be said about me. I know it's a bit selfish, but I hope that he would forgive me for wanting to learn from his successes and challenges.
I've learned that I need to treat everyone well. To reach out when someone asks for help and to feel comfortable reaching out myself. I need to pay attention to life. It's happening now, I should be taking advantage of it rather than whiling my hours away watching streaming TV (the studying I find acceptable though). I learned to love completely, fully and not worry about other people's prejudices.
I need to travel. I need to respect my family and encourage their respect of me. Chocolate is a perfectly acceptable way to buy friends, and it's OK to insist that people smile when they take any that I offer. One can live elegantly and fully on a modest salary. Making one's home means making it feel like home for everyone you love.
Admit when I make a mistake. Eat well but never too much. Drink well but never too much. Our time is not our own. Our friends' time is not their own either. Except lunch time.
Lunch time should never be messed with. It is a precious, recharging and essential part of everyone's day.
Footprints In Our Hearts
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same again.
Author Unknown
In case you're thinking that there has been a lot of talk of death, funerals and the like in here lately, you're right. It's also why I haven't been posting much lately. My thoughts have been too big to put into blog form.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Don't throw stones
We're coming up to our last week of psych. It has been a relaxing block so far. I was able to get through one week of notes in an afternoon. That never happens for me. I've spent an afternoon on 3 renal lectures.
This is when MedStudent-itis has shown up. I have gone through notes diagnosing my classmates, my family, my partner, my past partners and me. It's shocking how much mental illness there is near me.
This block has been eye opening as far as how my classmates view mental illness. It's clear that the stigma attached to it is alive an well in our ranks. I hope to continue to advocate for those with mental illness.
During our CBL session last week, I made a comment to the effect that patients who don't take their meds are much less likely to get my sympathy than those who do. I was shot down by the other members of my group. I can't remember what their argument was, I'm sure it was brilliant.
What I did think about for a while after was that I am just as guilty of not taking care of myself. Despite counselling patients and family to eat well, I still eat donuts, drink too much coffee. I haven't been to the gym in a couple of months.
I was comfortable throwing stones in this glass house of mine. And very glad I've recognized yet another prejudice I hold.
This is when MedStudent-itis has shown up. I have gone through notes diagnosing my classmates, my family, my partner, my past partners and me. It's shocking how much mental illness there is near me.
This block has been eye opening as far as how my classmates view mental illness. It's clear that the stigma attached to it is alive an well in our ranks. I hope to continue to advocate for those with mental illness.
During our CBL session last week, I made a comment to the effect that patients who don't take their meds are much less likely to get my sympathy than those who do. I was shot down by the other members of my group. I can't remember what their argument was, I'm sure it was brilliant.
What I did think about for a while after was that I am just as guilty of not taking care of myself. Despite counselling patients and family to eat well, I still eat donuts, drink too much coffee. I haven't been to the gym in a couple of months.
I was comfortable throwing stones in this glass house of mine. And very glad I've recognized yet another prejudice I hold.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Respect the Jinx!!
It's been a rough year for people I love. I've been refusing to say or think anything that might tempt fate into slapping me in the face. A favourite relative died last night. When I told my partner this morning, he said "so do you think that means it's over for a while?".
Augh!!
You've got to respect the jinx! I try not to be superstitious, but at the same time I'm not taking any chances.
Augh!!
You've got to respect the jinx! I try not to be superstitious, but at the same time I'm not taking any chances.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Synesthesia
"Live music is better; bumper stickers should be issued"Neil Young
Very little affects me more than music. I can laugh, cry and get angry within an afternoon with the right mix of music. Live music sends me to another planet. When the right group of local musicians get together, the result is undeniably brilliant. They play better with each other than any of them could separately. Awe inspiring solos are released from their fingers as though they were always waiting there for the right moment to be let out.
Some songs remind me of events and emotions. One lick and I'm back to the crowded bar when I first knew I just had to kiss that guy or a sunny patio at a summer festival or a cozy hug or a ridiculous political argument.
Hearing those licks played by someone replacing a friend who has recently passed though, is absolutely heart breaking. The notes are right, the groove is great, but it clangs in my head. My late friend's soul is woven into the notes and I can't tell the music apart from him.
And I cry.
We'll miss you Mel.
Some songs remind me of events and emotions. One lick and I'm back to the crowded bar when I first knew I just had to kiss that guy or a sunny patio at a summer festival or a cozy hug or a ridiculous political argument.
Hearing those licks played by someone replacing a friend who has recently passed though, is absolutely heart breaking. The notes are right, the groove is great, but it clangs in my head. My late friend's soul is woven into the notes and I can't tell the music apart from him.
And I cry.
We'll miss you Mel.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
To Do List
I slept in today. A weekday. Until I woke up.
It was brilliant.
I've been working on my To-Do list. It includes only extra-curricular things today. There's such a sense of accomplishment crossing things off a list. I add things that I started on before making the list just for the joy of crossing them off.
I'm looking forward to going to Starbucks tonight to study neuro for a few hours away from all my other responsibilities. No one ever sees me there because I go to the shop far away from campus. It's fantastic. Although not just a little pathetic that I need to isolate myself to get work done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)